Mental Health Update

4 Feb

Anxiety attacks are increasing, in both frequency and in number of triggering situations.

Depression is slightly stabilized, but mostly hovering around the moderate/severely depressed line.

I haven’t been taking my medication since the first month’s pills ran out (six weeks of pills total, because I had a two week sample pack) – they weren’t helping, and the psychiatrist I had gotten the prescription from gave me anxiety attacks.

He said I was too young. To be depressed. And anxious. In the most condescending way possible, the psychiatrist I saw told me that my age made my mental health condition tragic. He assumed and stated the sex of my lover to be male before I mentioned anything other than having a lover, and he told me I was too young to be in the condition I am.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot??!

My age has nothing to do with what I am being treated for. My sexuality has nothing to do with what I am being treated for. I am being treated for depression and anxiety, not for whatever the fuck I’m too young for (which, um, I pretty obviously have and therefore am clearly not too young for). My lover’s sex is not for some doctor* to assume, nor am I comfortable with anybody doing so.  The phrase “I’ve been dating somebody…” coming from me should not instantly trigger the phrase “And what does he…” or the mentality behind it.

So, mentally, I’m not doing great. I have two art classes, and that helps! But overall, I’m miserable and want stuff to actually get better, not have my attempted solutions to my problems blow ageism and het privilege into my eyes like salty lemon water.

On age, I recently read a great post by Chally – read the comments too, they’re quite a lovely read: That’s that, then.

On gender and assumed heteronormativity,  meloukhia’s tag, “LGBQT,” is a veritable goldmine of delicious bloggy material. Also, my Oppression 101 tab has a few things relevant to the subject (I keep meaning to organize and add links, but for now you get a disorganized list of jumbled thought which does not reflect my full interests in internet activism).

*My gynecologist’s assumption of my lover’s sex to be male is less objectionable to me , as it is her job to make sure I am well-informed about potential sexual health risks, many of which are possible only through heterosexual PIV sex (read: certainly not totally unobjectionable, but I believe the assumption was made with my best interests in mind. The GYN also assumed that I was sexually active with a STD-positive partner.).

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4 Responses to “Mental Health Update”

  1. kirstente February 6, 2010 at 7:52 am #

    Aaiiee. That psychiatrist sounds awful.

    I hope things get better for you soon.

  2. newswithnipples February 8, 2010 at 7:27 pm #

    He does indeed sound awful. Hideous. But don’t let him stop you getting better, because then the jerkbag wins.

  3. Chally February 10, 2010 at 6:52 am #

    *comes in very late*

    I am very sorry about what you’re going through. Personally, I think it’s great that you’ve got such a strong sense of ‘this is who I am, my experiences are valid, and this stuff is not right’ – a lot of people would have doubted themselves. Good on you, keep going!!

    Also, thank you very much for the link.

  4. Sebastian Browns December 23, 2010 at 2:29 am #

    Stay as you are and do not be compromised. My greatest mistake before was I let go of who I supposedly. It was really a pain in the back if you will just follow the jerk. Keep it up.

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